New dawn

Posted by jennifer gibson on Thursday, December 14, 2017 Under: december 2017

As I sit in the yellow chair, sipping on candy cane flavoured coffee, my eyes fall on to the large beam of sunlight on the lilac wall. It's projecting a shadow of a nearby tree. The branches shake and shimmer in the wind, dancing to a tune of it's own. It's moments like this that I cherish these days. Time seems to slow down momentarily, giving me a chance to catch my breath and watch the shadows stretch across the snowy landscape as the sun begins to set early in the afternoon. 

Luna, my latest rescued kitty, sleeps beside me in her little round bed, wearing a sweet smile as she dreams. It has been almost a year since I brought her into my home and saved her life. Soon after my mother died, Luna showed up at my doorstep, shivering in the snow, crying pitifully. She was the smallest cat I'd ever seen, skinny and obviously starving. I thought that she was still a kitten based on how tiny she was. Her one eye had been badly damaged, most likely from a fight, leaving her blinded.

When I took her to the vet, they couldn't believe what they saw. She was severely malnourished and her teeth were in a horrible state of decay from being so neglected. They had to remove fourteen of her teeth. When I held her tiny body in my arms, I could feel her bones protruding through her thin fur. She looked up at me, blinking her soulful eyes at me and gave me a sweet smile. She seemed happy to finally have a safe and warm home. 

That was when I knew that she was meant to be with me. I instantly fell in love with her. Her blindness made her even more special since I knew what it was like to have a disability. I think it was fate and likely Mom's angelic spirit that helped bring her into my life. 

As I look back at this past year, one of the most difficult times in my life, I realize how fast it went by. It  was a time of searching, a lot of quiet moments where I looked within myself and my soul. The last few months has a been a hectic transition towards a new chapter. I made the decision to move forward, and ironically, back to the city where I grew up. It appears that I've come full circle on my journey.

In between cleaning out my mother's closets and sifting through decades of accumulated mementos, it gave me a chance to reflect on those memories, filled with bittersweet emotions. I'm quickly learning to let go of things that I don't need, especially since I'm downsizing (considerably!), so that I can look ahead with a fresh outlook. Many of the shelves are now empty, ready for me to move on. It feels like a clean slate, a new chance for me to start over and begin anew. Strangely, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders that I didn't know was there.

A friend of mine recently said to me, that it helps to appreciate the those small and fleeting moments of happiness throughout the day. He's right. Every morning, as I wake up, still cozy in my warm flannel pajamas and Luna sleeping blissfully beside me on my pillow, purring, it feels perfect. I feel safe, happy and grateful. It's right then, that I feel blessed as I watch the sun cast a soft, golden beam of light into my bedroom. It's a new dawn, the beginning of a new day and another step on my journey towards my new life. 

In : december 2017 

Tags: "new life" "new dawn" 
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